26 Oct 2012: in which the Pirate collapses in 27 moves

What could be better on a fine Friday afternoon in October than a fight for The Shiny ?  The Chess Pirate and the Gabridoodle met up at the Clubhouse for a game that, while not a miniature, certainly didn't take long.

Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 0-1

The Pirate got off to her usual textbook-shredding start.  At move 5, the Gabridoodle proudly announced, "See ?  I used the ponies.  You haven't even touched..."  She interrupted him, snapping, "Be quiet !"  At move 6, she made a truly ghastly blunder, blithely moving her queen to d5 (see illustration).  The Gabridoodle announced he was seriously thinking about resigning -- and the Pirate bought it !  Of course, he didn't resign, instead promptly using his pony to trample the Pirate's queen.  She didn't take this well, saying, "I hate you !  You suck !  This game sucks !  You suck !  Bastard.  Damn."  It's entirely possible that the Pirate's chess blindness was caused by cleaning chemicals; either that or a bad batch of Glazed Pope-ums.

The game continued.  The Gabridoodle thought he'd achieved checkmate at move 19, but he was mistaken.  Thus he inadvertently did The Exchange (rook for pony).  The Pirate remarked, "Dead end !  It's gonna be at least 50 [moves]."

Shortly after the Pirate proclaimed, "Don't give me any false checkmates !," the end indeed came (move 27; see illustration). This produced a particularly choice rant from the Chess Pirate.  Some highlights:

"Are you part of my therapy or something ?  Maybe you're here to help me with my logical skills."

"Fucking Shiny !  I've only had it once."

"Maybe I need a chess tutor or something."

From noman's land to a win

Gabridoodle - Fritz, 1-0

Noman's land is firmly established in the strategically vital center...

And then, awhile later...

Ha ha !  Ha ha ha !  Fritz !  It's time for the death march of the pawns !

All four bishops in a column !

Fritz and I get all four bishops lined up in a column.  The game ended in a draw, as usual.

Two queens aren't enough (again)

I'll get you for this, Fritz !

Fritz - Gabridoodle, 1-0

Benjamin Franklin on swindling

From the Chess Improver:

http://chessimprover.com/?p=7295

10 Oct 2012: welcome back, Chess Pirate !

Fall has descended upon Salem and, as we fervently hoped, the Chess Pirate has returned ! In this game, the Gabridoodle, fresh from blundering away a half-point the day before, came out charging... Or rather, waiting defensively while the Pirate came out charging with a classic display of crazed, textbook-shredding aggression.  Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose !

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The game was rich in good quotes.  At move 3, the Pirate said, quoting from Jersey Shore, "I don't need shame, I have integrity."  At move 13, the Gabridoodle sneered, "You're the one who didn't want pawn structure."  To this, the Pirate growled, "Maybe you need to stop talking."  A couple moves later, the Gabridoodle said, "I'm not puffing my chest yet.  You could turn this thing around."  The Pirate replied, "Stop talking !"  Then, her 15th move: capturing his bishop on h5 with her pawn (see illustration at left).  The Gabridoodle replied by grabbing her rook with his bishop.  This was a fatal blow to the Pirate but she put up a brave face, a couple of moves later exclaiming, "You're toast !  I'm taking The Shiny."  The Gabridoodle took this in stride, retorting, "If you steal it, I'll just order another."

And here we are at move 23 (see illustration at left).  The Gabridoodle just moved his rook to from f1 to b1, remarking, "No place is safe."  For the first time in the history of CHESS CLUB, the Pirate hissed !

The rest was academic.  At left, we have move 35.  The Chess Pirate is checkmated !

9 Oct 2012: in which lesbian queens do something unspeakable

The Pink Queen and the Gabridoodle decided to lock horns on-line at FICS.

Gabridoodle - Pink Queen, ½-½

The Pink Queen played well, avoiding any crazy blunders and generally refusing to fall into any of her opponent's traps.  The Gabridoodle was playing a stolid, decidedly non-brilliant game but also avoided any blundering.  The Pink Queen missed a chance to do an en passant capture (the Gabridoodle explained that the Chess Pirate refuses to believe in the rule and that this can be exploited when playing her). Eventually, as seen at left, things were all locked up and a tense confrontation well and truly underway.  Incidentally, the Gabridoodle did soon move his king to f1, an absolutely essential defensive play.

After a little more thrust and parry, the Gabridoodle blasted open the kingside wall, eventually promoting not one, but two pawns ("I demand lesbian queens !," he cried). Even before getting the second pawn to Fran's Place, the Gabridoodle had the game in the bag; the second queen was just for showing off.  However, pride went before the fall: his lesbian queens made a monumentally epic fail, delivering stalemate, as shown at left.

Interesting game with tense standoff

A very tense standoff...

...in an interesting game.

Gabridoodle - Fritz, ½-½

1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bb5 g6 4.O-O Bg7 5.Nc3 Nh6 6.d4 cxd4 7.Ne2 Qb6 8.Bd3 Ng4 9.Nf4 0-0 10.Nd5 Qa5 11.Bf4 Qc5 12.Nc7 Rb8 13.Nb5 e5 14.Bg3 d5 15.exd5 Qxd5 16.Nc7 Qd6 17.Nb5 Qd5 18.Ng5 a5 19.Ne4 Bf5 20.Nc7 Qd8 21.Nb5 Bxe4 22.Bxe4 Qg5 23.Nd6 Qf6 24.Nc4 Nh6 25.Qd2 Ng4 26.Bf3 h5 27.Bxg4 hxg4 28.Nxa5 Qd8 29.Nxc6 bxc6 30.c4 g5 31.b3 Rc8 32.Qe1 Qd6 33.Rc1 Rb8 34.c5 Qd5 35.Qe2 Ra8 36.Qxg4 Rxa2 37.Qxg5 Qxb3 38.Bxe5 f6 39.Bxf6 Rxf6 40.Qe5 Raxf2 41.Qe8+ Bf8 42.Rxf2 Rxf2 43.Kxf2 Qb2+ 44.Qe2 Qxc1 45.Qe6+ Kh7 46.Qf5+ Kg8 47.Qg6+ Kh8 48.Qxc6 Qxc5 49.Qf6+ Kg8 50.Qe6+ Kh8 51.Qe8 d3+ 52.Ke1 Qc1+ 53.Kf2 Qb2+ 54.Kg3 Qe2 55.Qxf8+ Kh7 56.Qf7+ Kh8 57.h4 Qe1+ 58.Kg4 Qe2+ 59.Kg5 Qe4 60.Qf8+ Kh7 61.Qf7+ Kh8 62.Kh6 Qe3+ 63.Kg6 Qg3+ 64.Kh6 Qe3+ 65.Kh5 Qg3 66.Qd7 Qe5+ 67.Kh6 Kg8 68.Qxd3 Qg7+ 69.Kh5 Qxg2 70.Qd8+ Kg7 71.Qe7+ Kg8 72.Kh6 Qc6+ 73.Kg5 Qa4 74.Kg6 Qc2+ 75.Kh6 Qc6+ 76.Kg5 Qa4 77.Qe6+ Kh7 78.Qf7+ Kh8 79.h5 Qc2 80.h6 Qc3 81.Qf8+ Kh7 82.Qf7+ Kh8 83.h7 Qa5+ 84.Kg4 Qb4+ 85.Kf5 Qa5+ 86.Kg6 Qb6+ 87.Kh5 Qc5+ 88.Kh4 Qc8 89.Qf6+ Kxh7 90.Kh5 Qc5+ 91.Kg4 Qg1+ 92.Kh4 Qh2+ 93.Kg4 Qg2+ 94.Kf5 Qc2+ 95.Ke6 Qe2+ 96.Kf7 Qh5+ 97.Ke7 Qg4 98.Qf7+ Kh6 99.Qf6+ Kh7 100.Kf7 Qg3 101.Qf5+ Kh6 102.Qe6+ Kh5 103.Kf8 Qf4+ 104.Qf7+ Kg5 105.Ke8 Qa4+ 106.Qd7 Qe4+ 107.Qe7+ Qxe7+ 108.Kxe7 Kh6 ½-½