10 May 2013: in which a civil Pirate almost wins The Shiny

This fine spring day, Salem CHESS CLUB was the venue for a remarkably civil game.  However, as usual there were a few choice remarks:

Gabridoodle: "You're being suspiciously civil today."
Chess Pirate: "My nails are wet."

Chess Pirate: "That's right, back up bitch !"

Gabridoodle (referring to himself): "If you can't play well, play angry."
Chess Pirate: "Did you say Amish ?"

Chess Pirate: "Your turn,                         ."

Of interest to our friends at Salem CRIBBAGE CLUB, the Pirate and the Gabridoodle played three brisk games of cribbage.  The Pirate won the first game by about 5 points.  Game two went the Gabridoodle's way, also by about 5 points.  In the third game, the Gabridoodle waltzed away with it, winning by a wider, though not skunk-level, margin.

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The Pirate was on her way to winning this one, but some fancy footwork by the Gabridoodle and a Piratical blunder turned things around. The Gabridoodle retains The Shiny.

The Gabridoodle got into trouble in the early going.  Although he did a reasonably good job managing the Pirate's frenzied opening attack, he made a key blunder at move 8.  Instead of moving the e4 bishop somewhere or advancing the d-pawn, he castled.
     8. O-O Nxe4
     9. Nxe4 Qxe4
left him was down a horse and this led him into a severe crisis in the middlegame.

Here we have move 22, Rxg7.  At first blush, it might seem that the Gabridoodle didn't have his priorities straight.  With the middlegame crisis unresolved, he goes and snatches a pawn.  However, this was a vitally important move for him.  The Pirate had a 4-to-1 pawn majority on the kingside.  If something wasn't done about it, things might well have gotten stormy.

By move 37, the Pirate was down to only 1 kingside pawn.  Between that and the hideously doubled pawns on the b-file, the Gabridoodle was in slightly better shape, although still down a horse.  And now we have the move that turned the whole thing around.  The Pirate blundered away a rook (as shown in the diagram).  The Gabridoodle eventually sent the horse to the glue factory and also dealt with the h-pawn.  The rest was mopping up.

Finally, at move 56, we have a classic king-and-rook versus king checkmate.

Tactics corner: vicious triple play

In this game at Chess.com, the Pink Queen captured the wrong horse (with her king at f6; the h-pawn might have been better).  This allowed the Gabridoodle to move his other horse,  getting a discovered check, fork, and skewer combined.  The Pink Queen was shortly queenless.

2 May 2013: an audience !

Today we had an audience !  The Chess Pirate's lodger was present.  While the Pirate went shopping for a door for the Fish Room, the Gabridoodle photographed the lodger.  The lodger then went out for lunch.  Much to our surprise, she actually returned and rather than making excuses or simply barricading herself in her room, she opted to observe the chess action.  In a move that could only warm the Nixonian heart of la Marmotte des Echecs, the lodger chose Checkers as her CLUB nickname.

As usual, the Pirate didn't have a full grasp on relative exchange values, insisting that the queen is worth 10 and, nonsensically, that the king is worth 20.  The correct values: king = priceless; queen = 9; rook = 5; bishop = 3 or 3¼; knight = 3; pawn = 1.  A non-kingly piece that moved like the king would be worth about 4.

In CLUB business, the Gabridoodle has decided that if Checkers attends another CHESS CLUB session, she will be appointed prospective candidate member.  After that, we'll see.  She has to learn the game first.

Game 1
Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

Need it even be said that the Pirate began the game with the sort of crazed, frenzied attack made by someone who never set the textbook aside because she never picked it up in the first place ?  The Gabridoodle parried these thrusts, managing not to suffer any real positional damage in the process.  The Gabridoodle, in a Steinitzian mood, accumulated a series of small advantages.  By move 16, the Pirate already was making the empty boast, "Let's see what I can do to fuck you over."

While the game went 50 moves, the definitive turning point came at move 23 (see diagram at left). The Gabridoodle's Be5+ left Rd6 as the Pirate's only legal move.  The Gabridoodle thus picked up a rook at the cost of a bishop and as an added bonus, damaged the Pirate's pawn structure thanks to her exd6 recapture.

The rest of the game was a methodical grinding down of the Pirate, her only hope being that the Gabridoodle would make a ghastly blunder.  No blunder was forthcoming and the Pirate surrendered at move 50 (diagram at left) rather than suffer needlessly.

Game 2
Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 1-0
Time control: 10 minutes each

This speed game was played just for fun, not for The Shiny.  Incredibly, the Pirate decided to call this an "exhibition game" because Checkers was watching.  The Gabridoodle achieved an edge in position and eventually also material.  However, despite using most of her time to prattle with Checkers, the Pirate won when the Gabridoodle's flag fell first (though the Pirate had scarcely more than 20 seconds left on her clock).

26 Apr 2013: the game with five blunders in a row

A day off from CHESS CLUB last week meant that the Chess Pirate got to enjoy two weeks of possession of The Shiny.  That came to an end today in a game that featured an incredible sequence of five, count 'em, five blunders.

Once again, the Pirate questioned the existence of the en passant rule, claiming that it isn't played in the United States and asking, "Do you see brie on this table ?  Do you see a baguette ?"  The United States Chess Federation agrees with the Gabridoodle, of course.  Fortunately for his physical safety, the Gabridoodle didn't want to exercise his en passant rights in that particular instance.

Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 0-1

The game began with the Pirate's usual thrusts being successfully parried by the Gabridoodle ("Parry that !" as the Pirate put it).  On move 9, the Pirate boasted, "It's gonna be a short game !" (it actually went 55 moves).  By move 23, crankiness was setting in, the Pirate asking herself, "What can I do to make your life a living hell ?" and then two moves later, "Can't have the pawn, bitch !"  On to the five blunders...

First blunder !

36. Qb5 ??

Here the Pirate moves her queen en prise.

Second blunder !

36. ... Rd8 ??

But instead of simply doing an obvious, sensible move, either capturing her queen (or perhaps better, moving his queen to safety; or even better still, rook to b8), the Gabridoodle moves his rook to d8, leaving his queen en prise !

Third blunder !

37. c5 ??

Now the Pirate does it !  Instead of simply capturing the Gabridoodle's queen, which would haved given her an easy win, she pushes her c pawn.  Now her queen is en prise again !

Fourth blunder !

37. ... Rd2 ??

For the second time, the Gabridoodle fails to either: move his queen to safety, capture the Pirate's queen, or (and maybe this would have been the best move of all) rook to b8.  Instead, dazzled by the prospect of a quick mate, he moves the rook to d2.  At least he finally saw his queen was in jeopardy !

Fifth blunder !

38. c6 ??

The Pirate could have captured the Gabridoodle's queen, leaving herself down a rook.  Instead, she pushes the c pawn again !  After
38. ... Rd8+
39. Qf1 Rxf1
40. Kxf1The Gabrioodle is up a queen instead and goes on to an easy win.

12 Apr 2013: the Gabridoodle gets waxed !

The Chess Pirate's subtropical vacation -- in which she's said to have wrecked at least one boat -- was clearly refreshing.  In a game that was something of a marathon (64 moves), she managed to win back The Shiny, although the Gabridoodle made sure she had to work for it.

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 0-1

As anyone who knows anything would have expected, the Pirate opened with her usual slashing attacks.  The Gabridoodle parried them, although losing his castling rights in the process.  The game was close, the Pirate even being put on the run at one point.  However, the hoggishness of the Pirate's rook paid off and she was subsequently able to promote a queenside pawn.  Rather than instatresign, the Gabridoodle held out hope that the Pirate would be so overwhelmed by her impending victory that she'd goof and deliver stalemate.  However, the Pirate kept her cool, delivering checkmate as shown in the diagram.  Although it turned out not the be relevant to this game, the Gabridoodle, did -- yet again ! -- have to explain the fifty move rule.

The game featured several choice verbal outbursts:

12. Pirate: "So, you fuck up my castle."

22. Gabridoodle: "The king is a fighting piece." ; Pirate: "Yeah, whatever."

31. Gabridoodle: "I like it when you make the puzzled chimp expression."  [Pirate flips the bird.]

57. Pirate: "It's like a little mouse... eee eee eee !"

63. Pirate: "Slink to the corner little mouse !  eee eee eee !"

15 Mar 2013: the first annual Salem CHESS CLUB jamboree !

Although only four players showed up, the first annual Salem CHESS CLUB jamboree managed to set the CLUB record for attendance !  What's more, we had three observers: two of the Pink Queen's small fry and an unnamed personage who responded to the declaration of a chess emergency.  The emergency was declared when it looked like there was some chance the Gabridoodle and Chess Pirate might be the only attendees.

Top prize was a medal, which, unlike The Shiny, is actually the property of the winner.  The Gabridoodle may eventually wind up looking like a North Korean general.

The jamboree took place at the Jaho Café on Derby Street in Salem.

The results:

   1st place: Gabridoodle
   2nd place: Pink Queen
   3rd place: Chess Pirate
   4th place: Pink Queen's guest

Round 1

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The Gabridoodle was zapped for a rook in the wild and wooly opening but he didn't let this distract him.  He found his way to a quick checkmate (at left), the Pirate's adventure having won her a rook but left her king terribly vulnerable.  Sometimes it's all about position, not material.

Pink Queen's guest - Pink Queen, 0-1

Putting some of what she's learned in the school of hard chess knocks to work, the Pink Queen shredded her opponent, achieving a massive material advantage.  The Gabridoodle was quite astonished when he ambled over and saw the veritable forest of white pieces she'd collected.

Round 2

Gabridoodle - Pink Queen, 1-0

Thanks to some rather odd early moves, the Pink Queen's position collapsed quickly.  Rather than being the cat that plays with the mouse before finishing it off, the Gabridoodle was able to bring the game to a crashing conclusion by lining up a quick mate, seen in the photo at left.

Third place:

Chess Pirate - Pink Queen's guest, 1-0

The losers of the first round slunk off to a corner to vie for 3rd place.  The pirate wasn't kidding about being battered by the previous night's adventures.  Either that or the Pink Queen's guest was somehow inspired by his loss in the first round.  While the Pirate did eventually win, there were surprisingly few pieces left on the board at the end.  This is in sharp contrast to the shockingly sudden mates in two of the event's other games.