What could be better on a fine Friday afternoon in October than a fight for The Shiny ? The Chess Pirate and the Gabridoodle met up at the Clubhouse for a game that, while not a
miniature, certainly didn't take long.
Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 0-1
The Pirate got off to her usual textbook-shredding start. At move 5, the Gabridoodle proudly announced, "See ? I used the ponies. You haven't even touched..." She interrupted him, snapping, "Be quiet !" At move 6, she made a truly
ghastly blunder, blithely moving her queen to d5 (see illustration). The Gabridoodle announced he was seriously thinking about resigning -- and the Pirate bought it ! Of course, he didn't resign, instead promptly using his pony to
trample the Pirate's queen. She didn't take this well, saying, "I hate you ! You suck ! This game sucks ! You suck ! Bastard. Damn." It's entirely possible that the Pirate's chess blindness was caused by cleaning chemicals; either that or a bad batch of
Glazed Pope-ums.
The game continued. The Gabridoodle thought he'd achieved checkmate at move 19, but he was mistaken. Thus he inadvertently did
The Exchange (rook for pony). The Pirate remarked, "Dead end ! It's gonna be at least 50 [moves]."
Shortly after the Pirate proclaimed, "Don't give me any false checkmates !," the end indeed came (move 27; see illustration). This produced a particularly choice rant from the Chess Pirate. Some highlights:
"Are you part of my therapy or something ? Maybe you're here to help me with my logical skills."
"Fucking Shiny ! I've only had it once."
"Maybe I need a chess tutor or something."
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