Provoking Fritz to suicide

Here's an amusing little sequence from a game with Fritz.  The Gabridoodle falls behind but comes fighting back in true CHESS CLUB spirit.

Fritz pulls a clever bishop sacrifice with bxg3.  The Gabridoodle takes back with the f-pawn and promptly loses a rook to the discovered attack.  The Gabridoodle is now down the exchange and two pawns.

The Gabridoodle nevertheless soldiers on, moving his horse to c6 and then exchanging the rooks at f8.  Rightly or wrongly, he's determined to get his queen to e4.

The Gabridoodle uses his h-pawn to give Fritz's horse a kick and manoeuvres his queen to e4.

Next, the Gabridoodle strikes the fatal blow, using horsey to snaffle up the d4 pawn.

Fritz's queen can't take the horse and if he doesn't move the rook or king, the Gabridoodle's horse will hop to e2 and fork them fatally.  Whichever Fritz does, the Gabridoodle would then deliver instamate at g2. 

An alternative for Fritz would have been to send his queen to f2.  This at least would have guarded the crucial g2 square.  However, Fritz would have suffered the uncompensated loss of his rook and his queen would soon have been in difficulties after the Gabridoodle's horse went to d3.

So instead Fritz starts suicidally flailing...

...and then some !

Fritz finally eliminates the instamate threat by sacrificing his queen for the Gabridoodle's bishop.  Roar.

Moar roaring: the Gabridoodle was so worked up at this point that he missed the obvious mate, queen takes horse.  Instead it was horse takes horse.  Fritz resigns all the same.

12 December 2014: A very long battle for The Shiny

After a lengthy hiatus, the Chess Pirate at last convened a CHESS CLUB session.  She's going to be spending the next three months vacationing in a tropical hell-hole, so this was the last game until the spring (unless she can somehow be convinced to play on-line).  She had dreams of wearing The Shiny while parading around on beaches and lounging by swimming pools...

There was a very brief discussion of CLUB business.  It was agreed that there is presently nobody who needs to be cut.  And so, there will be no fun for our shivs and shanks this holiday season !

An addendum to the original poast: The Pirate was kind enough to make hot cocoa, complete with cloudy water (most hostesses skip that step).

The game was a 70 move marathon, the second-longest in CLUB history.  The Chess Pirate had the initiative for the first half of the game.  In fact, her pathological aggression in the opening managed to leave the Gabridoodle crippled by a bad bishop.  This made the defense of his queenside very difficult (curiously, both players castled long).  The bitter, determined defense finally paid off when the Pirate blundered away a rook.  The rest was mopping up, the highlight perhaps being that each player (momentarily) promoted a pawn.

There was a steady stream of Piratical quotes -- indeed, the Gabridoodle lamented his lack of shorthand skills.  Some of the Pirate's gems:

    "And she draws first blood !"

    "That wasn't crazed, it was well thought out."

    "That's awesome !  I really wanted a lecture !"

    "Stupid pieces !," "Sucker !," and "Oh, crackers !"

    "Stupid horse !  Horse flesh for dinner !"

    "Open a can of whoop ass !"

    "Visualize the noose."

    "I will trap your little ass !"

    "You just stimulate my mind, Gabridoodle."

    "Fucker !"

    "I'd rather throw molasses at my enemy than sugar."

    "Asswipe."

    "I can smell The Shiny."  [said three moves before she lost]

The Gabridoodle managed to get a few words in edgewise, including:

    "Was that the sigh of shattered dreams ?"

    "You can always get a silver swimsuit." [a reference to The Shiny]

Ever magnanimous in defeat, the Pirate gave the Gabridoodle nine, count 'em, nine jars of curry sauce.


Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The Pirate's crazed attack in the opening may have shredded "the textbook" but it did succeed in leaving the Gabridoodle with a very bad bishop on f1.  For now at least, he may as well not even have it on the board. Although capturing her horse unleashes her bishop, the Gabridoodle figured there was no way he'd survive the onslaught if the Pirate was able to bring another piece into the battle.

By the time we get to move 35, the Gabridoodle's palace has been on fire for a number of moves.  Note, however, that his formerly bad bishop is now well-placed at e4 -- in particular, it covers the b-pawn's promotion square.  While some more defensive fancy footwork remained, this blocking move with his rook was the first step toward getting the situation well and truly under control.

Lacking any brilliant ideas of his own, the strategy of hanging on and waiting for the Pirate to have a fail does the trick !  Here, at move 52, the Pirate makes a hideous blunder.  Ironically, she had almost done something like this earlier in the game but was saved by the commentary of "chatty Gabridoodle."

For the Gabridoodle, the rest is just mopping up.

In a rare moment of "gallantry," the Gabridoodle sacrificed his bishop, grabbing the Pirate's g-pawn.  Needless to say, he got the bishop back a few moves later, after promoting the h-pawn to a queen (he considered taunting the Pirate by underpromoting).  The Pirate had to capture it with her bishop which was then captured by the rook.

Once she was down to a naked king, the Pirate started in with her "20 moves or it's a draw" fantasy.  As any real chess player knows, it's 50 moves (due to the Fifty Move Rule and not specifically his majesty's nakedness).  Hilariously, she insisted the Gabridoodle wouldn't be able to mate her with just the king and rook (she didn't say "insufficient material," a term she loathes).  Needless to say, king-and-rook versus king is right out of chess 101.  The game finally ended at move 70.

A dodgy fianchetto at South Station

After spending several months curled up in a fetal position, the Gabridoodle returned to South Station to do battle with grandmaster Larry Christiansen.

Game 1: Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

Of the three games he played at this simultaneous exhibition, the first was the Gabridoodle's best effort.  In the early going, the Gabridoodle announced, "Whenever I fianchetto, it ends in disaster.  But I'll do it anyway."  Christiansen -- who has been a grandmaster since 1977 -- replied, "Already looking dodgy."  However, the grandmaster did have to pause to think longer than usual a couple of times during the course of the game.

Here, at move 10, the Gabridoodle managed to deal with a mortal threat.  Interrupting whatever his plan had been, he snaffled up the e5 pawn with his horse, simultaneously defending the super-vulnerable f7 square.  To do otherwise would have led to instamate on the next move.  Christiansen proffered the possibly back-handed compliment, "Good move."

Nothing spectacular ensued, but by move 24, Christiansen suddenly had everything in place.  The Gabridoodle engaged in shameless pawn snatching with his bishop but there was really no way he was going to stop what was coming.

Game 2: Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

The second game was very brief.  Here, the grandmaster taunts the Gabridoodle, "giving" him his rook !

Game 3: Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

Move 6 and already serious trouble is brewing for the Gabridoodle.  One little pawn push creates a world of hurt.

There's really no way for the Gabridoodle to avoid swapping a bishop for a pawn.  Christiansen's Qe2+ starts it off.  When the dust settles, the queens are off the board and so is the Gabridoodle's bishop.  There's also an annoying pawn at e7, a potentially fatal bone in the Gabridoodle's throat.

Incredibly, the Gabridoodle eventually managed to castle !  Things are a bit ragged for him on the kingside, however.

By move 24, the grandmaster had a pretty solid attack underway.  Having a lame excuse for leaving the venue, the Gabridoodle resigned at this point.  However, he did manage some CHESS CLUB swagger, informing Christiansen, "Luckily for you, I have a bus to catch !"

A lesson for the n00bs

Here the Gabridoodle, with the black pieces, faces some... difficulties.  In fact, it looks like he's in real trouble.  But he suddenly found a way out: a little horse move.  There's really no way for Fritz to avoid losing a rook (at least).

Perhaps rook to b3 is Fritz's least bad move -- they'd exchange queens:

• the Gabridoodle's horse takes Fritz's queen
• Fritz's rook takes the Gabridoodle's queen
• the Gabridoodle's horse takes the rook

Alternatively, if Fritz wanted to keep the queens on the board, he could move his queen to e1.  He'd still lose the rook and probably also the game.

Note that putting his queen on c1 instead would land Fritz in a vicious royal fork after the Gabridoodle moved his horse to e2, simultaneously attacking Fritz's king and queen. 

• If Fritz captured the horse with his rook, he'd lose his queen (moving his rook opens up a discovered attack for the Gabridoodle's queen) and then quickly be mated. 
• If Fritz moved his king, the Gabridoodle's horse would simply grab the queen.  Fritz would at least be able to recapture the horse, but having swapped his queen for a horse, he'd be toast before many more moves.

Note that in all these scenarios, Fritz has to be very careful about the back rank mate threat while the Gabridoodle doesn't face that problem.

Instead, Fritz did something very, very "special," namely queen to c2.  ROAR !  This resulted in Fritz losing both his queen and rook.  After the Gabridoodle moved his queen to a1 (giving check), Fritz loses one and then the other.

No theoretical novelties at South Station

After missing the March event, the Gabridoodle returned to Boston's inimitable South Station to take part in a simultaneous exhibition given by grandmaster and former US champion Larry Christiansen.  Salem CHESS CLUB extends its hearty thanks to the grandmaster and the Boylston Chess Club for organizing this once-a-month event.

Because the "simul" was bumped from its usual Tuesday to Wednesday, turnout was light and the games proceeded briskly.  The Gabridoodle, much as would be expected, went 0 and 3.

The Gabridoodle's neighbor did manage to set a clever stalemate trap which the grandmaster avoided by means of underpromotion.

Also of note, though not directly relevant to today's event, the grandmaster told a kibitzer that he's played as many as 16 simultaneous blindfold games.

Game 1: Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

Here, at move 18, the grandmaster strikes the decisive blow. Out of concern for pawn structure, the Gabridoodle felt unable to capture the knight that was sent to e5.  He retreated his queen instead and Christiansen snaffled up the horse on h5.

The Gabridoodle managed to stay alive until move 30.  Christiansen's rook, pony, and d-pawn are working together all-too-nicely.

Game 2: Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

Ignoring the attack on his c5 knight, the Gabridoodle captured Christiansen's d-pawn, announcing "Maybe this is a theoretical novelty."  In response, the grandmaster quipped, "I wouldn't go that far."

The Gabridoodle also lived to see move 30, although here Christiansen's pawns are, true to form, unstoppable.  The Gabridoodle resigned several moves later.

Game 3: Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

At this point, the Gabridoodle was in a state of collapse.  Only 14 moves in, he resigned rather than suffer massive loss of material and swift defeat.

There's no pawn like a tall pawn

Once again, Salem CHESS CLUB extends its thanks to the Boylston Chess Club and Grandmaster Larry Christiansen for organizing the monthly simultaneous exhibition at Boston's South Station.

As we would expect from a notorious woodpusher, the Gabridoodle lost both games.  He did manage to make a few interesting moves in the first game but in the second, the grandmaster was fully in command.

Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

The key moment in the game occurred at move 16.  Christiansen's move of his horse to c6 preheats the oven in which the Gabridoodle's goose is soon to be cooked.  The Gabridoodle has to save his queen (which won't have much scope anyway) and Christiansen snaffles up the pony at f6 with his rook. The Gabridoodle at least knew not to recapture that rook; he avoided a deadly trap but also lost material.

A bit of gallows humor at move 25...  The Gabridoodle remarks, after moving his bishop, "There's no pawn like a tall pawn."  Christiansen shot back, "It's not that tall."

Here we are at move 28.  The Gabridoodle resigns, since it's clearly time to move on to the next game.

Christiansen, Larry - Gabridoodle, 1-0

Again, Christiansen has the white pieces, as is the custom at these exhibition games.  Here, at move 7, the Gabridoodle has been caught napping.  A simple pawn push by Christiansen traps the bishop.

The Gabridoodle never really recovered from that early blow, so it was all over at move 20.  This wasn't the first time Christiansen used a pawn to torment the Gabridoodle in this fashion.

In which the Gabridoodle is beaten like a rented mule (by a grandmaster)

One Tuesday per month, in cooperation with the Boylston Chess Club, chess grandmaster Larry Christiansen gives a simultaneous exhibition at Boston's inimitable South Station. The Gabridoodle dropped in for a couple of games, with very much the expected result. It was largely an exercise in avoiding traps set by the grandmaster -- not all of them could be avoided.

Christiansen - Gabridoodle, 1-0

To no one's surprise, Christiansen won the first game fairly quickly with the old and very deadly pawn-at-f6 supported checkmate.

Christiansen - Gabridoodle, 1-0

The second game went better for the Gabridoodle, or at least less badly.  The grandmaster generally instamoved but the Gabridoodle at least made him pause for a few seconds several times.  In the end, though the grandmaster of course won without too much trouble.