12 December 2014: A very long battle for The Shiny

After a lengthy hiatus, the Chess Pirate at last convened a CHESS CLUB session.  She's going to be spending the next three months vacationing in a tropical hell-hole, so this was the last game until the spring (unless she can somehow be convinced to play on-line).  She had dreams of wearing The Shiny while parading around on beaches and lounging by swimming pools...

There was a very brief discussion of CLUB business.  It was agreed that there is presently nobody who needs to be cut.  And so, there will be no fun for our shivs and shanks this holiday season !

An addendum to the original poast: The Pirate was kind enough to make hot cocoa, complete with cloudy water (most hostesses skip that step).

The game was a 70 move marathon, the second-longest in CLUB history.  The Chess Pirate had the initiative for the first half of the game.  In fact, her pathological aggression in the opening managed to leave the Gabridoodle crippled by a bad bishop.  This made the defense of his queenside very difficult (curiously, both players castled long).  The bitter, determined defense finally paid off when the Pirate blundered away a rook.  The rest was mopping up, the highlight perhaps being that each player (momentarily) promoted a pawn.

There was a steady stream of Piratical quotes -- indeed, the Gabridoodle lamented his lack of shorthand skills.  Some of the Pirate's gems:

    "And she draws first blood !"

    "That wasn't crazed, it was well thought out."

    "That's awesome !  I really wanted a lecture !"

    "Stupid pieces !," "Sucker !," and "Oh, crackers !"

    "Stupid horse !  Horse flesh for dinner !"

    "Open a can of whoop ass !"

    "Visualize the noose."

    "I will trap your little ass !"

    "You just stimulate my mind, Gabridoodle."

    "Fucker !"

    "I'd rather throw molasses at my enemy than sugar."

    "Asswipe."

    "I can smell The Shiny."  [said three moves before she lost]

The Gabridoodle managed to get a few words in edgewise, including:

    "Was that the sigh of shattered dreams ?"

    "You can always get a silver swimsuit." [a reference to The Shiny]

Ever magnanimous in defeat, the Pirate gave the Gabridoodle nine, count 'em, nine jars of curry sauce.


Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The Pirate's crazed attack in the opening may have shredded "the textbook" but it did succeed in leaving the Gabridoodle with a very bad bishop on f1.  For now at least, he may as well not even have it on the board. Although capturing her horse unleashes her bishop, the Gabridoodle figured there was no way he'd survive the onslaught if the Pirate was able to bring another piece into the battle.

By the time we get to move 35, the Gabridoodle's palace has been on fire for a number of moves.  Note, however, that his formerly bad bishop is now well-placed at e4 -- in particular, it covers the b-pawn's promotion square.  While some more defensive fancy footwork remained, this blocking move with his rook was the first step toward getting the situation well and truly under control.

Lacking any brilliant ideas of his own, the strategy of hanging on and waiting for the Pirate to have a fail does the trick !  Here, at move 52, the Pirate makes a hideous blunder.  Ironically, she had almost done something like this earlier in the game but was saved by the commentary of "chatty Gabridoodle."

For the Gabridoodle, the rest is just mopping up.

In a rare moment of "gallantry," the Gabridoodle sacrificed his bishop, grabbing the Pirate's g-pawn.  Needless to say, he got the bishop back a few moves later, after promoting the h-pawn to a queen (he considered taunting the Pirate by underpromoting).  The Pirate had to capture it with her bishop which was then captured by the rook.

Once she was down to a naked king, the Pirate started in with her "20 moves or it's a draw" fantasy.  As any real chess player knows, it's 50 moves (due to the Fifty Move Rule and not specifically his majesty's nakedness).  Hilariously, she insisted the Gabridoodle wouldn't be able to mate her with just the king and rook (she didn't say "insufficient material," a term she loathes).  Needless to say, king-and-rook versus king is right out of chess 101.  The game finally ended at move 70.

14 Jun 2013: A long, tricky game

Thanks to a series of vacations, this was the first CHESS CLUB meeting in several weeks.  Perhaps inspired by the fine weather, the Pirate suggested that we find someplace where they have a giant outdoor chess set.  The Gabridoodle will look into this, though he isn't optimistic.  Even if we find one, there's no guarantee we won't be banned.

In official CLUB business, the Freshman (a member of the Pink Queen's entourage who took part in this year's jamboree) was appointed candidate member.

In non-CLUB business, the Gabridoodle was called on to assist the Pirate with various personal and professional administrative tasks.

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

This game went on for more than the customary length of time.  Not only were the Pirate and Gabridoodle playing at a leisurely pace but the game took 63 moves.  That's not a CLUB record but it's not so far from one, either.

Sneaky bishops can be monsters !  Here, at move 8, the Pirate has just moved her g-pawn, not seeing that this would allow the Gabridoodle to grab her rook.  This he did to which the Pirate barked, "You piece of crap !"  However, she was subsequently able to trap the Gabridoodle's bishop, which he sent into desperado mode, remarking, "Well, if you want hideously doubled pawns."  The Gabridoodle loses a bit of material but with positional compensation.

Lots of action in the early going.  By move 14, the Pirate snared the Gabridoodle in a clever trap, forcing him to simultaneously lose castling rights and a rook.

...however, the Gabridoodle had a decent reply, attacking the Pirate's queen with a pawn, allowing him to snag her bishop.  Later, at move 25, the Pirate made a capture, exclaiming, "Check !  Oh wait, that's not a bishop." (it was a pawn)  The Gabridoodle replied, "Ya moron !"

Here we are at move 33.  The Gabridoodle is ahead a pawn and also has a very slight positional advantage. At this point, the Pirate went to her computer, logged on to a well-known social network, and poasted that she was trouncing the Gabridoodle.

By move 46, the Gabridoodle had finally forced the exchange of queens, though not before the Pirate mounted a scary kingside attack with her queen. A race to promote has begun, the Gabridoodle having advanced a pawn to h5.  He won the race...

...and subsequently the game (as usual, the Pirate was a sport and played on in the hope that the Gabridoodle would make a hideous blunder).

10 May 2013: in which a civil Pirate almost wins The Shiny

This fine spring day, Salem CHESS CLUB was the venue for a remarkably civil game.  However, as usual there were a few choice remarks:

Gabridoodle: "You're being suspiciously civil today."
Chess Pirate: "My nails are wet."

Chess Pirate: "That's right, back up bitch !"

Gabridoodle (referring to himself): "If you can't play well, play angry."
Chess Pirate: "Did you say Amish ?"

Chess Pirate: "Your turn,                         ."

Of interest to our friends at Salem CRIBBAGE CLUB, the Pirate and the Gabridoodle played three brisk games of cribbage.  The Pirate won the first game by about 5 points.  Game two went the Gabridoodle's way, also by about 5 points.  In the third game, the Gabridoodle waltzed away with it, winning by a wider, though not skunk-level, margin.

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The Pirate was on her way to winning this one, but some fancy footwork by the Gabridoodle and a Piratical blunder turned things around. The Gabridoodle retains The Shiny.

The Gabridoodle got into trouble in the early going.  Although he did a reasonably good job managing the Pirate's frenzied opening attack, he made a key blunder at move 8.  Instead of moving the e4 bishop somewhere or advancing the d-pawn, he castled.
     8. O-O Nxe4
     9. Nxe4 Qxe4
left him was down a horse and this led him into a severe crisis in the middlegame.

Here we have move 22, Rxg7.  At first blush, it might seem that the Gabridoodle didn't have his priorities straight.  With the middlegame crisis unresolved, he goes and snatches a pawn.  However, this was a vitally important move for him.  The Pirate had a 4-to-1 pawn majority on the kingside.  If something wasn't done about it, things might well have gotten stormy.

By move 37, the Pirate was down to only 1 kingside pawn.  Between that and the hideously doubled pawns on the b-file, the Gabridoodle was in slightly better shape, although still down a horse.  And now we have the move that turned the whole thing around.  The Pirate blundered away a rook (as shown in the diagram).  The Gabridoodle eventually sent the horse to the glue factory and also dealt with the h-pawn.  The rest was mopping up.

Finally, at move 56, we have a classic king-and-rook versus king checkmate.

26 Apr 2013: the game with five blunders in a row

A day off from CHESS CLUB last week meant that the Chess Pirate got to enjoy two weeks of possession of The Shiny.  That came to an end today in a game that featured an incredible sequence of five, count 'em, five blunders.

Once again, the Pirate questioned the existence of the en passant rule, claiming that it isn't played in the United States and asking, "Do you see brie on this table ?  Do you see a baguette ?"  The United States Chess Federation agrees with the Gabridoodle, of course.  Fortunately for his physical safety, the Gabridoodle didn't want to exercise his en passant rights in that particular instance.

Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 0-1

The game began with the Pirate's usual thrusts being successfully parried by the Gabridoodle ("Parry that !" as the Pirate put it).  On move 9, the Pirate boasted, "It's gonna be a short game !" (it actually went 55 moves).  By move 23, crankiness was setting in, the Pirate asking herself, "What can I do to make your life a living hell ?" and then two moves later, "Can't have the pawn, bitch !"  On to the five blunders...

First blunder !

36. Qb5 ??

Here the Pirate moves her queen en prise.

Second blunder !

36. ... Rd8 ??

But instead of simply doing an obvious, sensible move, either capturing her queen (or perhaps better, moving his queen to safety; or even better still, rook to b8), the Gabridoodle moves his rook to d8, leaving his queen en prise !

Third blunder !

37. c5 ??

Now the Pirate does it !  Instead of simply capturing the Gabridoodle's queen, which would haved given her an easy win, she pushes her c pawn.  Now her queen is en prise again !

Fourth blunder !

37. ... Rd2 ??

For the second time, the Gabridoodle fails to either: move his queen to safety, capture the Pirate's queen, or (and maybe this would have been the best move of all) rook to b8.  Instead, dazzled by the prospect of a quick mate, he moves the rook to d2.  At least he finally saw his queen was in jeopardy !

Fifth blunder !

38. c6 ??

The Pirate could have captured the Gabridoodle's queen, leaving herself down a rook.  Instead, she pushes the c pawn again !  After
38. ... Rd8+
39. Qf1 Rxf1
40. Kxf1The Gabrioodle is up a queen instead and goes on to an easy win.

13 Dec 2012: a near-miniature transfers The Shiny (again)

[Note: today's write-up was penned by the Chess Pirate]

The Chess Pirate was beautifully adorned in a red silk sweater to match The Shiny, which she wore as a crown atop her regal head.

The Gabridoodle was spot on today [actually, he blundered away a bishop] and the Chess Pirate was distracted like a butterfly as usual.  In a sleek 32 minutes and in only 23 moves, the Pirate managed to throw both her rooks away with a fiddle-dee-dee flounce.  Once again, the Gabridoodle is the proud posessor of The Shiny, well fought and well earned.

Quote of the day [from the Pirate]: "I'm not even in check, ya moron !"

10 Oct 2012: welcome back, Chess Pirate !

Fall has descended upon Salem and, as we fervently hoped, the Chess Pirate has returned ! In this game, the Gabridoodle, fresh from blundering away a half-point the day before, came out charging... Or rather, waiting defensively while the Pirate came out charging with a classic display of crazed, textbook-shredding aggression.  Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose !

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The game was rich in good quotes.  At move 3, the Pirate said, quoting from Jersey Shore, "I don't need shame, I have integrity."  At move 13, the Gabridoodle sneered, "You're the one who didn't want pawn structure."  To this, the Pirate growled, "Maybe you need to stop talking."  A couple moves later, the Gabridoodle said, "I'm not puffing my chest yet.  You could turn this thing around."  The Pirate replied, "Stop talking !"  Then, her 15th move: capturing his bishop on h5 with her pawn (see illustration at left).  The Gabridoodle replied by grabbing her rook with his bishop.  This was a fatal blow to the Pirate but she put up a brave face, a couple of moves later exclaiming, "You're toast !  I'm taking The Shiny."  The Gabridoodle took this in stride, retorting, "If you steal it, I'll just order another."

And here we are at move 23 (see illustration at left).  The Gabridoodle just moved his rook to from f1 to b1, remarking, "No place is safe."  For the first time in the history of CHESS CLUB, the Pirate hissed !

The rest was academic.  At left, we have move 35.  The Chess Pirate is checkmated !

17 Sep 2012: our longest game ever ends at Gulu

The longest game ever in the history of Salem CHESS CLUB came to a crashing conclusion tonight at Gulu Gulu.  The game lasted nearly two months !  The Gabridoodle and the Pink Queen began this game on July 18th on-line at FICS.  It was adjourned by the Great Essex County Twister of 2012 which cut power (and hence interwebs) at the Gabridoodle's command center.

Gabridoodle - Pink Queen, 1-0

This is the position at the middle of move 12 when the game was brutally adjourned by the Great Essex County Twister of 2012.  The Gabridoodle has already sent his ponies to the glue factory but the Pink Queen has no bishops.  Some holes have already been ripped in the Pink Queen's pawn structure.  For the next several moves, she tormented the Gabridoodle with her knight.

Here, at move 18, the Gabridoodle has initiated a confrontation between the queens.  Note that he's also got a sneaky bishop pointed straight at the Pink Queen's rook at h8.  Her best option would have been to capture the Gabridoodle's queen and then after he recaptured with his bishop, save her h8 rook.  But perhaps being cross with the world, she instead moved her king to e7.  Thus the Gabridoodle wins a rook.

Here we are at move 33.  The Pink Queen makes a second key blunder (though at this point, the game was the Gabridoodle's to lose).  Instead of grabbing his c4 rook, she instead moved her king to b6.  The Gabridoodle of course took her rook and all she got for it was the bishop.  At this point, the Gabridoodle was ahead by two rooks and two pawns and the Pink Queen's king fainted, ending the game.

15 August 2012: Our first official on-line game !

Salem CHESS CLUB is back from something of a summer vacation -- talk about a forced move !  There's been some leadership turmoil and it isn't clear if Her Majesty is actually an unseen yet omnipresent goddess or merely a pirate.

Today, an innovation !  Salem CHESS CLUB has had its first virtual meeting !  The Pink Queen and the Gabridoodle played a game at the Free Internet Chess Server.  Their user names are letusplaypong and gabridoodle, respectively.  We encourage club members to set up an account there.  There are various graphical interfaces; one that works well with Windows is Babas Chess.

We'd also like to say hello to our new friends at Salem CRIBBAGE CLUB !

Pink Queen - Gabridoodle, 0-1
Time control: Fischer, 10 minutes + 30 seconds per move.
Played at Free Internet Chess Server

The Pink Queen began with aggression, as usual, but this time it was  more of a spirited attack rather than a crazed, frenzied offensive.  The Gabridoodle knew that he would have to focus on doing some fancy defensive footwork before he could even think about seriously going on the attack.  This, indeed, is how things played out.  At one point, the Gabridoodle even gave away a bishop in exchange for positional compensation.  The Pink Queen made one howler of a blunder (involving a rook) but cleverly declined to exercise the takeback owed to her by the Gabridoodle, saving it for another game.  The quote of the game came at the position illustrated at right.  Having moved a rook to d1, the Gabridoodle exclaimed, "Into the meat grinder you go !"

Game at Gulu Gulu with a candidate member

This was a wild, crazy, and messy game held at the Salem Boardgames Meetup at Gulu Gulu.  This was not, repeat, not an exhibition game !  The Gabridoodle blundered away a queen in the early going but as usual, this setback was inspirational and he fought back with vigor.  The candidate member later fell victim to a discovered check that led to a sequence that did severe material and positional damage.  Indeed, the rest was mopping up.  In fairness to our candidate member, it should be noted that she played reasonably well for someone who was very much out of practice.

[candidate member] - Gabridoodle
Gulu Gulu Salem, MA, USA, 18.06.2012

1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 d6 3.Bc4 Nf6 4.Ng5 Bg4 5.Bxf7+ Ke7 6.f3 Bh5 7.Bb3 Ke8 8.g4 h6 9.Ne6 Qd7 10.Nc3 Bf7 11.Ba4 Nc6 12.Nxf8 Rxf8 13.b3 g5 14.h4 Rh8 15.Ba3 gxh4 16.Qb1 Nd4?? 17.Bxd7+ Kxd7 18.b4 Nxf3+ 19.Ke2 Ng5 20.b5 h3 21.Rf1 Nxg4 22.Rg1 Bh5 23.Nd5 Rhf8 24.c4 Nf2+ 25.Ke1 Nf3+ 26.Ke2 Nxg1+ 27.Ke3 h2 28.Qxg1 hxg1Q 29.Rxg1 Nd1+ 30.Kd3 Nf2+ 31.Kc2 Nxe4 32.d3 Nc5 33.Rg5?? hxg5 34.Bxc5 dxc5 35.a4 g4 36.a5 g3 37.Kc3 g2 38.Kb3 g1Q 39.b6 axb6 40.axb6 Bd1+ 41.Kb2 c6 42.Nc7 Ra6 43.Nxa6 bxa6 44.b7 Rb8 45.Ka3 Rxb7 46.Ka2 Rb3 47.Ka1 Qf2 48.d4 Qb2# 0-1