12 December 2014: A very long battle for The Shiny

After a lengthy hiatus, the Chess Pirate at last convened a CHESS CLUB session.  She's going to be spending the next three months vacationing in a tropical hell-hole, so this was the last game until the spring (unless she can somehow be convinced to play on-line).  She had dreams of wearing The Shiny while parading around on beaches and lounging by swimming pools...

There was a very brief discussion of CLUB business.  It was agreed that there is presently nobody who needs to be cut.  And so, there will be no fun for our shivs and shanks this holiday season !

An addendum to the original poast: The Pirate was kind enough to make hot cocoa, complete with cloudy water (most hostesses skip that step).

The game was a 70 move marathon, the second-longest in CLUB history.  The Chess Pirate had the initiative for the first half of the game.  In fact, her pathological aggression in the opening managed to leave the Gabridoodle crippled by a bad bishop.  This made the defense of his queenside very difficult (curiously, both players castled long).  The bitter, determined defense finally paid off when the Pirate blundered away a rook.  The rest was mopping up, the highlight perhaps being that each player (momentarily) promoted a pawn.

There was a steady stream of Piratical quotes -- indeed, the Gabridoodle lamented his lack of shorthand skills.  Some of the Pirate's gems:

    "And she draws first blood !"

    "That wasn't crazed, it was well thought out."

    "That's awesome !  I really wanted a lecture !"

    "Stupid pieces !," "Sucker !," and "Oh, crackers !"

    "Stupid horse !  Horse flesh for dinner !"

    "Open a can of whoop ass !"

    "Visualize the noose."

    "I will trap your little ass !"

    "You just stimulate my mind, Gabridoodle."

    "Fucker !"

    "I'd rather throw molasses at my enemy than sugar."

    "Asswipe."

    "I can smell The Shiny."  [said three moves before she lost]

The Gabridoodle managed to get a few words in edgewise, including:

    "Was that the sigh of shattered dreams ?"

    "You can always get a silver swimsuit." [a reference to The Shiny]

Ever magnanimous in defeat, the Pirate gave the Gabridoodle nine, count 'em, nine jars of curry sauce.


Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 1-0

The Pirate's crazed attack in the opening may have shredded "the textbook" but it did succeed in leaving the Gabridoodle with a very bad bishop on f1.  For now at least, he may as well not even have it on the board. Although capturing her horse unleashes her bishop, the Gabridoodle figured there was no way he'd survive the onslaught if the Pirate was able to bring another piece into the battle.

By the time we get to move 35, the Gabridoodle's palace has been on fire for a number of moves.  Note, however, that his formerly bad bishop is now well-placed at e4 -- in particular, it covers the b-pawn's promotion square.  While some more defensive fancy footwork remained, this blocking move with his rook was the first step toward getting the situation well and truly under control.

Lacking any brilliant ideas of his own, the strategy of hanging on and waiting for the Pirate to have a fail does the trick !  Here, at move 52, the Pirate makes a hideous blunder.  Ironically, she had almost done something like this earlier in the game but was saved by the commentary of "chatty Gabridoodle."

For the Gabridoodle, the rest is just mopping up.

In a rare moment of "gallantry," the Gabridoodle sacrificed his bishop, grabbing the Pirate's g-pawn.  Needless to say, he got the bishop back a few moves later, after promoting the h-pawn to a queen (he considered taunting the Pirate by underpromoting).  The Pirate had to capture it with her bishop which was then captured by the rook.

Once she was down to a naked king, the Pirate started in with her "20 moves or it's a draw" fantasy.  As any real chess player knows, it's 50 moves (due to the Fifty Move Rule and not specifically his majesty's nakedness).  Hilariously, she insisted the Gabridoodle wouldn't be able to mate her with just the king and rook (she didn't say "insufficient material," a term she loathes).  Needless to say, king-and-rook versus king is right out of chess 101.  The game finally ended at move 70.