30 Nov 2012: the Pirate wins The Shiny

Despite being stricken by malaria, the Gabridoodle made it to CHESS CLUB.  The hostess was kind enough to serve him a cup of hot cocoa but this didn't stop the malaria from affecting his game: the Chess Pirate -- for the first time since June ! -- is in possession of The Shiny.

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, 0-1

The game began with a frenzied queenside attack by the Pirate.  This delayed the Gabridoodle's development, much to his consternation.  However, he was able to mount a reasonably good defense.  But then at move 8 (see illustration), he made a key error.  The Pirate had just captured his horse at c5.  Proving the adage that "to take is a mistake," he was impatient and captured the horse with his bishop which was then, of course, captured by the Pirate's queen.  He should have waited to get the material back: perhaps some shameless pawn snatching with his light-square bishop would have been a better idea.  After this, the Gabridoodle bled away a bit more material and never really recovered despite the Pirate's slothful kingside development.  While not a miniature, it was over in a mere 29 moves.

21 Nov 2012: pre-Thanksgiving horsing around

While everyone else was getting ready for Turkey Day travel, CHESS CLUB had an impromptu Wednesday afternoon meeting.

For the first time in quite some time, business was discussed.  Due to acrimony stemming from a draw at the previous meeting, some rules about The Shiny were proposed.  Basically, if there's a draw, the players can both agree to another regular game or one player can demand a blitz game.  Tentatively, it's been decided that 10 minutes each will be the time control for a Shiny-awarding blitz game.  Unresolved is the question of what happens if the blitz game is a draw: does the incumbent keep The Shiny or can the challenger demand another blitz game ?  Stay tuned !

Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 0-1
Time control: 10 minutes plus 30 seconds per move

The game began in the usual fashion, with the Pirate managing to prevent the Gabridoodle from doing his castling chore until move 12.  At move 9, the Pirate waxed almost philosophical, making a hum-drum move and then musing, "But really, what's the fucking point ?"  She then tried to distract the Gabridoodle by means of nose grease !  This may have rattled him in some subtle way, because he blundered a bishop away on move 18.  However, as usual, adversity was inspirational for the Gabridoodle.  At move 20 (see illustration), the Pirate's nose gear may have caused temporary chess blindness.  Instead of saving her queen from his horse, she castled long (perhaps proud of now knowing how to do so properly).  The rest was academic.

After this there was a just-for-fun (not Shiny) blitz game (five minutes each on the clock).  The Gabridoodle, as expected, lost on time but both players agreed that much progress was made.

Fritz uncorks Alekhine's Gun !

It was only a matter of time... Fritz (white pieces) finally decides to employ the famous formation known as Alekhine's Gun.

9 Nov 2012: a swindle and a self-swindle

The Chess Pirate wanted to play a quick game today, so naturally enough, we had one of CHESS CLUB's longest games, a 68 move drama-fest.  The game even had to be briefly adjourned due to a visit by the furnace repairman -- we tried but failed to recruit him !  We're not sure if he somehow didn't notice the Pirate's extra-sweet disposition or if something about CHESS CLUB overwhelmed / intimidated him.

Gabridoodle - Chess Pirate, ½-½

The Pirate, in command of the black pieces, was on her game today and also in an excellent mood, proclaiming at move 4, "Oh, chess is such a pleasant pastime !  Would you like another cup of tea ?"  A couple of moves later, she politely inquired, "Could you open this tin of biscuits ?"  At move 9, there was a brief discussion of insect consciousness.  By move 15 (illustration at left), she was putting a lot of pressure on the Gabridoodle.  By means of some very fancy footwork (ultimately ending in an exchange of queens), he was able to extricate himself from this jam.  At move 17, the Pirate mysteriously exclaimed, "Excuse me, have you seen my chapeau ?"

As play continued, the Pirate ground out an edge in material.  So jolly was her frame of mind, that when we got to move 30 she said, "You can either exchange castles or get off your casthole !"  By move 41 (shown at left), she was ahead by 2 pawns and had a horse that promised to be a severe nuisance for the Gabridoodle.  But here is where the first swindle happened.  The Pirate moved her horse to d3 and it was promptly captured (for free) by the Gabridoodle's bishop.

After the Pirate's horse was sent to the glue factory, the game turned around in dramatic fashion, the Gabridoodle proving that the king is an attacking piece and using it to gobble up the Pirate's queenside pawns.  Eventually, he promoted his a-pawn and the game should have been won at that point.  However, the Gabridoodle is such a notorious swindler that he couldn't help swindling himself, delivering stalemate at move 68 (illustration at left).

26 Oct 2012: in which the Pirate collapses in 27 moves

What could be better on a fine Friday afternoon in October than a fight for The Shiny ?  The Chess Pirate and the Gabridoodle met up at the Clubhouse for a game that, while not a miniature, certainly didn't take long.

Chess Pirate - Gabridoodle, 0-1

The Pirate got off to her usual textbook-shredding start.  At move 5, the Gabridoodle proudly announced, "See ?  I used the ponies.  You haven't even touched..."  She interrupted him, snapping, "Be quiet !"  At move 6, she made a truly ghastly blunder, blithely moving her queen to d5 (see illustration).  The Gabridoodle announced he was seriously thinking about resigning -- and the Pirate bought it !  Of course, he didn't resign, instead promptly using his pony to trample the Pirate's queen.  She didn't take this well, saying, "I hate you !  You suck !  This game sucks !  You suck !  Bastard.  Damn."  It's entirely possible that the Pirate's chess blindness was caused by cleaning chemicals; either that or a bad batch of Glazed Pope-ums.

The game continued.  The Gabridoodle thought he'd achieved checkmate at move 19, but he was mistaken.  Thus he inadvertently did The Exchange (rook for pony).  The Pirate remarked, "Dead end !  It's gonna be at least 50 [moves]."

Shortly after the Pirate proclaimed, "Don't give me any false checkmates !," the end indeed came (move 27; see illustration). This produced a particularly choice rant from the Chess Pirate.  Some highlights:

"Are you part of my therapy or something ?  Maybe you're here to help me with my logical skills."

"Fucking Shiny !  I've only had it once."

"Maybe I need a chess tutor or something."

From noman's land to a win

Gabridoodle - Fritz, 1-0

Noman's land is firmly established in the strategically vital center...

And then, awhile later...

Ha ha !  Ha ha ha !  Fritz !  It's time for the death march of the pawns !